A Slash Gone Bad...
by Erin Faith
Summary: I am tired of Harry/Draco slashes that have no point! Also there are some scenes that have been written about that would never happen (although some of you seem to think its possible). Includes: Sirius, Crookshanks, Fudge, Ginny, Dumbledore, and Herm/R!


Untitled

A/N: This is me, sick and tired of Harry/Draco fics with no point or meaning. 

::Harry is walking casually down the halls of Hogwarts when he takes a very sudden and surprising sharp turn into an empty classroom where Draco Malfoy just happens to be standing:: 

Harry: Oh, Draco! I've been wanting to talk to you!! 

Draco: What do you want now, Potter? 

Harry: Draco, there's something I have to tell you…I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU! 

Draco: OH YAY! HARRY I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS MOMENT EVER SINCE I SAW YOU IN DIAGON ALLEY! 

Harry: So you've decided to go 'good' and renounce your father's evil Death Eater ways and help me defeat Voldemort? 

Draco: Yes, Harry! However did you guess? 

Harry: That doesn't matter, what's important is us! Let's snog! 

Draco: Okay! 

::in rushes a very surprised Dumbledore who is beaten up, has half a beard and whose glasses are dangling off his abnormally large nose:: 

Dumbledore: HARRY! VOLDEMORT IS IN HOGWARTS AND IS GOING TO KILL US ALL! 

::Dumbledore proceeds to faint in a heap on the floor:: ::Harry and Draco exchange *very* identical expressions, because they are *SO* much alike!:: 

Harry: Come on Draco! Let's go get him! 

Draco: Okay! 

::Harry and Draco rush out of the classroom and sprint down the halls of Hogwarts and rush into the Great Hall:: ::They look around and see Voldemort standing on the middle of the stage cackling as he kills thousands of students with a single curse (kudos for those who guess what it is!):: ::Harry and Draco yet again exchange glances and rush forward toward him:: 

Harry: HA! I'VE GOT YOU NOW VOLDEMORT! AND THIS TIME I'M GOING TO WIN BECAUSE I'VE GOT…DRACO MALFOY!! 

Voldemort: DRACO MALFOY? ::looks horrified and terrified at the same time while managing to look scary:: 

Draco: Yes! I've decided to go 'good' and help Harry defeat you so then we can go and snog! 

Harry: Yes, that's right! 

Voldemort: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! 

::Harry and Draco put their wands together and shout: AVADA KEDAVRA and Voldemort lets out a very low choking sound and falls to the floor dead:: 

Harry and Draco: YAY!! 

::everyone's eyes (yes everyone is *alive* again!) rush to the corner where Hermione and Ron are making out noisily:: 

Harry: Hermione? 

Hermione: Oh! Hi Harry! ::waves, but then is pulled back down by Ron and they start snogging again:: Didn't you hear? Ron and I have decided that we don't hate each other and we're going to get married tomorrow! 

::Harry's eyes turn to the crowd of people who all nod vigorously:: 

Harry: Oh, okay! ::grins stupidly:: 

Draco: Come ON, Harry I'm getting impatient! 

Harry: Oh, sorry honey. 

::Harry and Draco inter lock hands and run out of the Great Hall to find yet another empty classroom:: 

::Everyone's eyes rush to the other corner of the Great Hall where a door (newly created by Voldemort) has been thrown open and there stands…SIRIUS BLACK!! (drenched in rain and his clothes are sticking to him because *everyone* knows that you can't defeat evil on a *sunny* day! Also standing by his side is his handy dandy ever-so-sexy…motorcycle!):: ::all the girls swoon and promptly fall over:: 

Sirius: ::in a low, sexy voice:: Hi. 

::the remaining students (boys) all swoon and fall over too, because Sirius is just oh so irresistible:: 

::in from another door rushes Cornelius Fudge and a group of big, strong bodyguards:: 

Fudge: Oh, hi Sirius! ::waves:: Has anyone seen Harry Potter? I'm here to arrest him for using an Unforgivable Curse! 

::Sirius shrugs and no one else replies because they are all fainted, remember?:: 

::Then, from out of nowhere, flies in…CROOKSHANKS!! Who is immediately shot down by all four of the bodyguards (I can't see *why* you people hate him…what did he do?):: 

::Everyone turns to look at *another* door where stands Ginny Weasley, dressed in camouflage and carrying big heavy machine guns:: 

Ginny: Oh, am I too late? ::giggles:: Oh well! ::voice drops several pitches as she notices Sirius standing in the corner looking hott:: Hey, Sirius… 

::while all this happens Voldemort lays dead on the stage, and no one cares at all, because everyone is either fainted, dead sexy, carrying big heavy machine guns, making out in empty classrooms, or staring at a dead cat that did nothing at all:: 

A/N: The end of my story…*this* is what happens when you write stupid stories about Harry and Draco, who just fall in love for no apparent reason, have them fight off Voldemort (who suddenly ::gasp:: dies!), and kill Crookshanks because 'you hate him'. I am also *not* a Ron/Hermione shipper if you can tell… And the part about Ginny I made up, because I needed to add something else and because she usually gets put in some awkward and stupid position… Flames are welcome, because I could care less. ; ) 


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